The “Fame Monster” is truly a real and scary spirit that many are either chasing or actually possess. Once on the path to summoning and achieving said monster, you realize how hard it is to shake, as it starts to consume you further and further before it’s too late. Not many who are on the path can continue on, falling on the wayside. Those who continue to press on, some may fall into various temptations, and vices sometimes get picked up in order to cope with the happenings.
Pop superstar Lady Gaga has been open about her past addictions. In a past interview with radio station Z100, she gave an in-depth look into some of her reasoning. “I have been addicted to it and it’s ultimately related to anxiety coping and it’s a form of self-medication and I was smoking up to 15-20 marijuana cigarettes a day with no tobacco,” she told the radio station. “I was living on a totally other psychedelic plane, numbing myself completely, and looking back I do see now that some of it had to do with my hip pain… I didn’t know where the pain was coming from so I was just in a lot of pain and very depressed all the time and not really sure why.”
Gaga stated in the interview that she used the drugs to cope with the pain she was feeling due to a hip injury, which left her in a wheelchair after undergoing surgery to treat damage caused to her cartilage on her Born This Way tour. The addiction got worse for the “Born This Way” singer due to the price of fame and how it began to take a toll on her. “I’ve been addicted to various things since I was young,” she said. “Most heavily over the past seven years… But, the truth is that it is very hard to be famous.”
She added, “It’s wonderful to be famous because I have amazing fans. But it is very, very hard to go out into the world when you are not feeling happy and act like you are because I am a human being too and I break, and I think there is an assumption… that I cannot break because I am an alien woman and I am unstoppable.”
She then went on to say that she was trying to get to the creative space where she doesn’t have to rely on the use of drugs in order to arrive there. “I do put that pressure on myself; I have to be high to be creative. I need that, that’s an error in my life that happened for over 10 years… Can I be brilliant without it? I know that I can be and I have to be because I want to live, and I want my fans to want to live.”
She also spoke to the Los Angeles Times during a press run for the film A Star Is Born where she said she connected with the role due to the emotional turbulence she faced as a burgeoning star. “It’s very lonely being a performer,” she said. “There’s a certain loneliness that I feel, anyway—that I’m the only one that does what I do. So it feels like no one understands.” When she was able to get her hand on drugs, she said the pickings were limitless. “There was a buffet of options,” recalled Gaga. “When I first started to perform around the country doing nightclubs, there was stuff everywhere, but I had already partied when I was younger so I didn’t dabble. I was able to avoid it because I did it when I was a kid.”
Continuing on in letting fans into her world, Gaga released a documentary on Netflix, Gaga: Five Foot Two, that gave an intimate look at her personal life. A moment that’s recently resurfaced is a story she shared that appeared during the end credits of the film where she shared that she made Beyonce uncomfortable due to smoking too much weed in front of her.
“That was the night I gave Beyoncé, like, a panic attack,” Gaga says of her Telephone and Video Phone collaborator. When asked how she did that, she answers, “I don’t know, I just always feel like when I’m with her and Jay-Z, I’m always like hanging out in the corner with like nine joints hanging out of my mouth being like ‘Whaaaaat’s up?!’ and she’s like ‘You’re not a lady but why? How is this working?’”