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Tiffany Haddish Claims She’s ‘White On Paper’ Says Her Credit Is Up 300 Points & She Has A Mexican Housekeeper

Sometimes you have to keep from crying, and just like many of us, that’s what comedian Tiffany Haddish had to do in order to stay sane.  Tiffany has shared her life story to many, having to struggle for many years while she worked hard to achieve the dream that she is currently living.  The power of manifestation is real as a few things that Haddish wrote down on a list, some jokingly, have come to fruition. 

Tiffany’s story includes a time where she was struggling while striving to be a comic years ago, living in LA.  Discovering that Haddish was in a bind, her friend and fellow comedian Kevin Hart gave her $300 to help get back on her feet, as well as some advice which she chose to share during an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. 

“He gave me the money and he said, ‘Make a list. Make a list of goals that you want from your life. What do you want for your life?'” the Girls Trip said. “‘And when you’re sitting in that room, start figuring out how to tackle that list.'” 

Three hundred dollars while living in LA definitely won’t get you too far, but ever appreciative, she gracefully accepted and made it work.  Haddish proceeded to book a hotel by the hour and work on the list, but in true “Tiffany Haddish fashion”. 

“I wrote that I wanted to get my own place one day, work with Jada Pinkett Smith, have my own stand-up comedy special, sit across from you one day and you googly eye me like yaasss,” she continued. “I also wrote that Brad Pitt would start asking me to dinner all the time, so much that it’s like, ‘Look, Brad! I’m busy! I can’t!’”  

She added, “Also, I wrote on there that I want to get pregnant by Leonardo DiCaprio and that I’ll have me a big ol’ house and that I’ll get my own two streets. I want my own two streets that intersect, one called Tiffany and one called Haddish, and then I’ll start youth centers over there. People will be like, ‘Where’d you learn how to do that?’ ‘I learned that on Tiffany and Haddish.’” 

Her vision, hard work, and persistence have definitely proven to work as the success began and continues to pour in.  One thing Tiffany that was not on her list was playing the role of a white woman, but Haddish got to check that off her list…well, almost.  The comedian appeared in Jay-Z’s video for “Moonlight”, which was a parody of Friends.  Colbert asked Haddish about the experience, which opened up another comedic aspect of her life. 

“Any chance that I get to play a white woman, I am there! I’m Phoebe on there,” she began.  “I’m a white woman on paper; I’ve been a white woman for the last five, ten years now.” 

Unsure of what “white on paper” meant, Colbert asked for her to define the terminology.  Tiffany hilariously explains herself. “Like seven years ago, the census had come around, right? The census came and they showed up to my house, and they asked me what my nationality was, ’cause they was counting to see how many black people are in the neighborhood. I was like, ‘What do you mean? I’m American.’ And he was like, ‘No, what’s your race?’ I was like, ‘Oh! So, we’re doing that today? We’re bringing racism in my front door on this day?” 

“What are you, colorblind?’ And he said, ‘Yes,'” Haddish continued of her story. “I was like, ‘Ooh! This is my chance.’ I had like a That’s So Raven moment; I went into my brain and I was like, ‘Girl, this is your chance. What do you mean this is my chance? Obama said it’s time for change; you could be whatever you want to be today.’ And I was like, ‘You’re right! I can be whatever I want to be.’ And I looked at him and said, ‘I’m car-casian.’ Because I got a car and I know a lot of Asians, so I just put that together. I told him was ‘car-casian’ and he said OK. He checked the white box and it has been fantastic. Oh, my goodness!” 

They say once you go Black, you never go back.  For Haddish, however, ever since she’s been living “white on paper”, it seems that things have gone right.  “A few days later my credit score went up by 300 points,” the comedian jokingly stated. “I got a black card. I got a Mexican housekeeper now. Life has been really awesome. I’ve been booking all of these TV show roles because of affirmative action,” Haddish continued. “They need White women to play Black women, so that’s me!” 

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